I Became The Man I Would Have Married..

By Kenny Mwangi

I still reach besides my bed every dawn.,
Not for you, but to feel the warmth and weight of the sun rays.,
I open my eyes to the flannel and down,
To The mist at the window and blue light from the bays.,
Only then I remember who and where I am.
How the passing years have rendered me unfeeling to your charm.,
And how impassable my heart have became to a man’s sweet tongue and everything I find to be wrong.

Around my heart, a brick wall has built, thick and strong.,
Tough as old boots that the only feeling of love left in me is that of my books.,
I no longer wait for the days you came home flowers in hand and a smile on your lips.,
Or the nights you called me sweet names in our candle lit room as you swayed my hips.,
Those are the nights I wished they never dawned.

But the morning you walked out of me, out of Us and out of everything we had.,
Was the morning my blood washed you and your memories away, cold and hard.
Now in the humid nights, in the leaking sieve of my body.,
I carry only the blood of my love, love for myself and nobody.,
I lit candles and romance my sweet self around the fire place.,
Then I serenade myself to sleep and hope in my dreams I’ll not see your face.

Then tomorrow night, like most nights I will let me loose just like my silk hair.,
I will join my girls and laugh the night away over drinks in our lair.,
And talk about the men we have become with no worry.,
Men who probably in another world we would marry.

**Find more Kenny (Neds) HERE 🙂


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